Want to learn an easy way to heal a relationship?
The most common question I am asked is how to deal with difficult relationships. There is not an easy answer. I think it is something we all universally have to work through. I have found powerful healing techniques that have worked very well for me.
The first one is called the HO’OPONOPONO (ho-o-pono-pono) practice. The second one is called MORRNAH’S PRAYER.
There are relationships worth trying to repair. And there are times we need to release relationships that no longer serve us. It is first important to discern between the two. When people display the following characteristics, it may be time to let them go (and if you fall into these categories, it may be time to acknowledge it and get help):
Verbally, emotionally or physically abusive
Sexually demanding, yet incapable of intimacy
Addicted or obsessed with pornography
Persistent jealousy for no reason
An alcoholic or drug addict who refuses treatment
Emotionally draining, yet never satisfied
Always the center of attention, deeply uninterested in others, spoiled or selfish
Narcissistic, sociopath, psychopath
Consistently unavailable physically and/or emotionally
The following practice will help you to heal relationships and repair the ones worth repairing. It will also help you and others heal on all levels. When you release relationships that do not make you happy, you create space for better people to enter your life. And if we desire, we can attract healthy “family members of choice” in replace of unhealthy blood relations.
The prayer can also be used to strengthen existing relationships. I often think of loved ones and say the prayer with the intention of improving a healthy relationship, asking for forgiveness, forgiving others, expressing my love and appreciation, etc.
Hoʻoponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. Traditionally hoʻoponopono is practiced by healing priests among family members of a person who is physically ill. Modern versions are performed within the family by a family elder, or by the individual alone. I use it on my own during meditation and waking states, silently or out loud.
Hoʻoponopono is defined in the Hawaiian Dictionary as “mental cleansing: family conferences in which relationships were set right through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, and mutual restitution and forgiveness.”
Literally, hoʻo is a particle used to make an actualizing verb from the following noun, as would “to” before a noun in English. Here, it creates a verb from the noun pono, which is defined as “goodness, uprightness, morality, moral qualities, correct or proper procedure, excellence, well-being, prosperity, welfare, benefit, true condition or nature, duty; moral, fitting, proper, righteous, right, upright, just, virtuous, fair, beneficial, successful, in perfect order, accurate, correct, eased, relieved; should, ought, must, necessary.”
Ponopono is defined as “to put to rights; to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up, make orderly or neat.”
Hawaiian historians documented a belief that illness was caused by breaking spiritual laws, and that the illness could not be cured until the sufferer atoned for this transgression, often with the assistance of a praying priest or healing priest. Forgiveness was sought from God or from the person with whom there was a dispute.
It has been described as a practice of extended family members meeting to “make right” broken family relations. Some families met daily or weekly, to prevent problems from erupting. Others met when a person became ill, believing that illness was caused by the stress of anger, guilt, recriminations and lack of forgiveness. Hawaiian historian Kupuna Nana Veary wrote that when any of the children in her family fell ill, her grandmother would ask the parents, “What have you done?” They believed that healing could come only with complete forgiveness of the whole family.
Hoʻoponopono corrects, restores and maintains good relationships among family members, loved ones and with God by getting to the causes and sources of trouble.
It also helps us easily release people who do not serve our Highest Good.
HO’OPONOPONO MANTRA (Hawaiian)
I AM SORRY
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
I LOVE YOU
Repeat constantly, not directed anywhere in particular, although you may offer it to the Divine, or your (or other’s) inner child. The energy and vibration of these words have the power to heal and cleanse on all levels, in all directions of time and space. These are true words of power.
Somehow they connect with whatever needs its energy to heal, within us and others, and we do not even need to know what needs to be addressed or how it works for it to be effective.
In Ho’oponopono, a person assumes 100% responsibility for their reality (with NO sense of self-blame). They know that what they have created, they can change, and by accepting full responsibility you accept the power to heal. Nothing is ever anyone else’s fault. To change your experience and reality there is only one thing to work on, and that is one’s self.
The following, is another very powerful cleansing prayer. The intention is to cleanse any blocks and resistances, known and unknown, to the manifestation of our good, and to clear the way for positive inspiration and manifestation.
This prayer also has great healing power. You may direct the following prayer to your god/goddess, an experience, your past lives, any part of yourself or anyone else…to your cat, dog, or even your car. It may not make sense to your CONSCIOUS mind, but your subconscious understands exactly what is going on. It can be instant, or a gradual process. Either way, it WORKS.
MORRNAH’S PRAYER (Hawaiian Shaman)
Divine creator, father, mother, son as one…If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions from the beginning of our creation to the present, we ask your forgiveness. Let this cleanse, purify, release, cut all the negative memories, blocks, energies & vibrations and transmute these unwanted energies into pure light. Thank you. It is done. It is done. It is done.